Nama

Pilih-pilih nama anak ni seronok juga.

*chuckles

"..aku menulis, bukan kerna nama"

Ramli Sarip - Bukan Kerana Nama

Taqarrub ilallah

Ada tiga event besar yang bakal berlaku dalam tiga bulan yang mendatang, InshaAllah:

1. Baby 

2. Pindah rumah baru

3. Pindah hospital baru/naik pangkat

Serabut nak uruskan satu per satu. 

And with these; hail a new milestone in my life.

I could not resist but to ask myself "How about my imaan? 

Has it gotten any better?

Has I clinched up towards God with every minute that passed?" 

I dare do all that may become a man; who dares do more is none -Macbeth, Act 1, Scene 7

Tukya

Aku mahu bina sebuah rumah. 

Sebuah rumah yang dirancang rapi, diperbuat dari bahan berkualiti yang aku pilih sendiri.

Akan aku bina dikit demi dikit, hari demi hari, dengan tulang dan jari-jemari ini.

Rumah itu akan jadi kebanggaanku,

Tempat berlindung anak isteriku, rumah pusaka hingga ke anak cucu.

Biarlah apa orang kata; aku ingin jadi sedegil *Tukya.

*Allahyarham Azizi Hj Abdullah, Seorang Tua di Kaki Gunung.

Man-talk

You know what you're doing is right. 

Stay focused. Push through it. Keep the momentum.

If you can't deal with the 'accessory' matters; leave them be. You can't deal with them all at once anyway. Do what you can, and never ever let your guard down and get distracted from your aim. But, never to forget them altogether, too.

People will criticise and condemn you; let them be. Learn and adapt what you can from them, but never let them bogged you down.

For, in the end, your eventual victory will be the mighty answer to all the critiques, doubts and jeers.  

Remember; 

If you're at loss, you will suffer the consequences alone, not them. You will be blown, disintegrated and vanished into oblivion. Not them.

You have to win. 

That's my straight answer to you.

You have to win this, or die try. 

History will only remember two types of people; the winner and the loser. Nothing in between. And if you fall into this category, remember that you are worthless than the loser, for the history itself will not even try to remember you.

Again, my answer to you is straight and simple.

You have to win.

Or die try.

Frail

I saw an elderly lady today before her surgery; I was doing my pre-anaesthetic assessment and running through the check-list.

I've explained to her and her husband the anaesthetic procedure and answered their questions. She didn't talk much, and appeared to be a but nervous too. 

As I was about to wrap up the session, her husband pulled me to the side and whispered: 

"Please take care of her; She's the only one I got."

His eyes glistened. 

"....I will, Sir."

We had a challenging time balancing her temperamental blood pressure and keeping her adequately sedated throughout the surgery, but she managed to push through, thankfully.

We kept her in ICU post-operatively for closer monitoring and care. I went to see her before going home just now and she looked all right. She opened her eyes a bit when I was fiddling around with her records, managed to gave a faint smile and continued to sleep. 

I left the hospital today, feeling grateful. 

I wonder, will I be the same like the lady's husband when I arrived at that age? Will I be as caring as he is? 

Or, will I be able to do the same to my parents, when they become frail? 

I hope I will. 

I believe I should.

InshaAllah.

Kopi

Tengahari tadi aku ada case presentation untuk para houseman/junior HMO. Sepatutnya turn aku bulan Mac lepas, tapi sebab walimah, aku tangguhkan.

Aku ambil satu kes menarik waktu aku di Emergency Department dulu. Mulanya patient ni datang macam biasa, tapi kemudian deteriorated dengan cepat. 

Aku rasa puas sebab di bahagian discussion, ada beberapa houseman/intern yang bertanyakan soalan-soalan yang padaku sangat praktikal dan relevan. Memang itu yang aku harapkan. Kes yang aku huraikan straight forward, tapi perbincangan tentang management dan treatment plan itu yang aku ingin go in depth. Moga bermanfaat, InshaAllah.

Lepas presentation, aku minum kopi sat. Lega. Rasa hilang satu beban.

Harsh reality

Balik dari hospital, buka pintu rumah; angin sejuk menerpa. Sunyi. 

Lupa. Isteri dah balik Malaysia. 

Masuk bilik tidur, terngiang-ngiang suara isteri memasak di dapur, menjemput makan, menanyakan tentang kerja dan memesan barang dapur yang dah habis.

Sunyi!