In summary

Dua bulan lagi berakhirlah tahun 2017.  

Buat masa ini;

1. Fasa terakhir Fellowship FRACGP. Doakan.

2. Tahun depan berpindah tempat kerja. Akan meninggalkan hospital dan klinik sekarang ke klinik yang lebih kecil lagi, tapi lebih dekat dengan rumah. 

Akan meninggalkan acute care buat sementara dan fokus kepada primary care.

3. Mikhail sudah ada lebih 80+ patah perkataan. Forming simple sentences dalam 3-4 patah perkataan. Makin kurang stereotyping behavior. Gemar bermain role-play. Curious dan suka bertanya. Tetapi masih ada beberapa elemen perkembangan sosial yang belum berkembang.

Kalau dalam kelompok besar seperti tadika/playground, dia akan main dalam dunia dia sendiri, atau memerhati dari jauh dan akan main selepas itu. Kadang-kadang dia akan buat-buat tak peduli orang di tepinya; tapi ekor matanya sering menjeling dan observe. Akan lari kalau ditegur/disapa.

Kalau dalam kumpulan kecil (2-3orang kawan), dia akan lebih confident untuk berinteraksi, tetapi akan 'mencuri' beberapa minit untuk menyendiri/menyorok, sebelum join semula. Sepertinya komunikasi dengan orang itu melelahkan agaknya, perlu recharge semula. Kitar ini biasanya seperti berikut 20min main- 5min solo - ulang.

Makin behave, boleh tunggu giliran, boleh sit down, tapi tak lebih dari 10-20minit. Kalau ada aktiviti sosial/urusan rasmi yang perlukan lebih masa; perlu ada strategi untuk 'mengisi' kebosanan. Semasa fasa 2-3 tahun; jangan harap boleh makan di restaurant. Waiting in line for ticket/boarding airplane is a nightmare. Sekarang ini bolehlah sikit-sikit. Kami masih menolak/tapis pelawaan kawan-kawan untuk makan di luar atas sebab ini. Harap tidak kecil hati.

4. Andika is growing ever so fast! Selalu bergaduh dengan Mikhail, berebut mainan, dan selalunya tidak nampak sebarang tanda yang Andika akan mengalah. Dia lawan balik. Very cheeky, suka mengusik abangnya. Manja dengan mamanya.

Andika is not a picky eater, unlike his brother. Both of them love fruits. 

Andika likes to build things while Mikhail prefers to animate his toys. So the typical scenario in our house is; Andika will architect the diorama and Mikhail will fill it in with his trains and figures(?Inception :D). They don't usually talk to each other though. And in the end, both of them will turn into Godzilla and destroy the whole things. Leaving us zombie-faced parents to clean-up the mess. 

We need some discipline with these boys! 

Tahun depan kami rancang hantar Andika ke day-care untuk sehari. Cuba-cuba. 

5. We are torn in between building a house here in the regional area or buying a house/unit in the city. I'm feeling the pressure to own a house here. For security purposes. So far we have secured property in Malaysia but not here. I guess it is a big decision to make and long-term repayment to commit to after all. 

Saliza is still keeping the option of going back after 2020 and therefore she is pushing for making more investment in Malaysia. I, on the other hand, was thinking of residing here for awhile and having Malaysia as our retirement plan. 

We will see.

6. It has been awhile since I do something that interest me. I haven't had activities that I could call hobbies for awhile.  I haven't touch a book (other than medical literature) for ages, my car is as boring as fish, I sold my DSLR,  I'm way out of shape, I couldn't attend my karate classes ;Life seems to ceased to be my own. 

But I guess ; so is Saliza. And so are thousands of young parents everywhere. 

Regret? No. 

I guess we both made conscious decision in shifting our priority. 

The early phases of parenting were not all morning-glory. It was literally gloomy and in fact quite depressing. Exhausted physically and emotionally-drained. We both in a mess. Everything seems to be a routine and house works were back-breaking chores. We thought that our 'me-time' was our way to recharge  ourselves but, frankly, it was our attempt to run away from problems in retrospect. We made excuses and began finger-pointing.

So what had happened?

We sat and talked. Many times. Countless of times. We did soul-searching and pray. We argued and reconciled. We didn't tell our parents because, well, both of my parents had gone through enough during their recent separation and both of Saliza's parents are no longer with us.  

Much later it dawn to us that ; nurturing our kids and guiding their young minds is our project. Seeing them achieving things even as menial as learning new words everyday will mean a whole new world to us. 

It was not too far to say that we saw the world quite differently from there.

Short trip to the mall to do groceries was probably a dreadful thing in the past, but now we see this as learning opportunities for the kids to learn new veges/fruits and things and for them to take some responsibilities like carrying the fruits, learn to count with the eggs, paying the cash to cashier girl (Mikhail's favourite) or even just simply pushing the cart around. 

Suddenly everything seems to be an opportunity and little mundane things like splashes of water from Andika's  jumping boot (Peppa Pig's influence) was a joy to behold and a source of perpetual wonder.

I did not say that everything went all right just like that. No. We still have our bad days. We still argue. Mikhail and Andika still throwing their tantrums and having meltdowns; but hey, I guess we could say that we are happier now.

I guess we could now say that we want to do this because we want it; not because we have to do it.

And for that; I honestly could not ask for more.

" Poor and content is rich, and rich enough!" Othello Act 3, Scene 3

Dan juga mereka (yang diredhai Allah itu ialah orang-orang) yang berdoa dengan berkata: "Wahai Tuhan kami, berilah kami beroleh dari isteri-isteri dan zuriat keturunan kami: perkara-perkara yang menyukakan hati melihatnya, dan jadikanlah kami imam ikutan bagi orang-orang yang (mahu) bertaqwa.  

Surah Furqan: Ayat 24